One ‘Skill’ you must have, to excel in life!
Are there times you have taken things for granted? I am sure yes! But this post is not about that. This post is about have you ever felt you have been taken for granted? I am sure the answer for this also is YES!! When you feel you have been taken for granted, how you react? I have seen the following reactions from people:
Just accept
Crib and cry
Shout back without any control
Or step out to say what they want firmly
I know you can easily understand the last reaction is the right one!
You feel in control and you feel good by end of the process. Assertiveness can do wonders in your life! Being assertive is a skill and it is a gift.
When someone steps on your toes what kind of reactions you will show?
1. You say ‘Sorry’
2. You again step on them with all your power (Tit for tat)
3. Beat them badly
4. Or that person says ’sorry’ to you and you tell them firmly ‘Be watchful next time’.
When someone steps on your toes and you say Sorry:
Some of you wonder will I ever do it. I have seen so many times there are people who say sorry for somebody else stepping on their toes. I mean in relationships, in business, in professional life and with family.
Say for example in relationships, when you are waiting for someone for such a long time and finally they turn up much later than the time they have committed, you say sorry! During the time when you were waiting for them what kind of emotions you go through? You ask yourself ‘Is my time not valuable’, ‘By change if they have told me in advance I might have finished some more of my job and then come here’ etc. You wanted to say ‘How come you came so late?’ but you never asked thinking the other person may feel hurt, but remember in the process you feel HURT.
In business, this is the biggest killer of speed. People take you for granted and they feel it is only you!…. In partnerships! They act as if they own the business and do make decision which you are suppose to make. They assume you have to agree on the terms what they want and make you commit to so many things without they checking are you OK with those! End of it you are being pushed into something which you know is not a Win-Win. You keep nodding your head for their conditions because you dont want to hurt them or you are scared that may make the deal fall apart!
I have come across business owners who cant pull the strings down and because of that they have been taken for granted. When I was in sales, I used to have lot of prospects who are yet to be closed and they remain as prospects for a long time. They are neither here not there. I cant say they will not give me business but I cant knock them out of my list. My prospects list always used to look long but to that extent I never used to convert. All these things changed till the time I met a guy by name ‘Shravan’ who was my boss some time. He is a super expert in pulling down deals and he was so successful only because of that. He always believed in ’shaking’ the customer. You shake them with strict deadlines, offers which will become invalid in a month or two, time sensitive pricing, instant money down plan, etc etc. All this to check how sure the deal is. So that you dont spend time with people who dont have strategy to be your partner or customer.
He thought me one of the greatest lessons in business: ” In business you must be assertive. You must not feel bad to walk away from a deal to the next one. Never hang on for something for so long because you are not only wasting your own time and effort but also your customer’s/ partner’s resources.” This lesson changed lot of things for me. My prospects list reduced to 20% form the time I turned assertive, but my closing percentage raised to 80%. I was able to sell with pride instead of pleading for it. Customers started respecting my time and effort. Many of them started treating me as a consultant and not only a sales man! A business man must know he never have a choice to give anything less to himself and to the business. Never allow your customers and partners to take you for granted.
I can list down times when I pleaded, agreed for all the demands of my customer, push all my internal teams so badly telling you guys cant understand what market wants etc. but still lost the deal straight for no reason except the customer turn suspicious about a deal which is too good to be true.
Also I can list down times when I have closed deals the way I wanted, with lot of pride, with a big smile in customers face! I felt I am creating value for the customer and customer felt this is a great deal for me! It was clear Win-Win deal which is just the outcome of the assertiveness of the sales guy. In selling and even in building a partnership ASSERTIVENSSS makes a big difference for both parties.
With family, that is what creates the strength in minds of your family members, be it your kids or spouse. You need to stand for your rights. You need to say what you can do what you cant do. That makes them stronger. You can do all those things what your kids demand. That makes them arrogant and adamant. You can do every job of your spouse which makes them either ignorant or lazy.
If one skill that can make a difference in your life is nothing else but standing for your own rights!
If you need to do good to your family, your boss, your customer or your partner, Be Assertive!
